Breaking down logic while breaking down the stomach contents

Drunken blunders on the thunderbox

Watch enough old westerns and movies set around saloons and cowboys who wear only the smartest ironed clothes, you'll see the drunk tank pop up every now and then. Basically a holding cell in the local gaol where the inebriated and off their face get to spend the night to sober up. Free accommodation when the missus is having none of that.

Fine for the most part, but ramp it up to modern times and you have to make do and getting into a cell isn't as friendly an endeavour it was back then.

A drunk New Jersey man locked himself inside a portable toilet that required bolt cutters to free him, police said.

"Man locked in portable toilet overnight."
United Press International 4 December 2010

It might be cosy, but a porta-potty isn't the best place to fall asleep. Especially when you're drunk.

At least that drunk wasn't endangering anyone but the washing machine at the laundromat the next morning.

Nicholas Maday, 26, arrived intoxicated at a friend's house on A Street in South San Francisco just before midnight Sunday, grabbed the gun from a bedroom and fired it once while in the bathroom, said Chief Deputy District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe.

Melvin, Joshua. "South San Francisco man pleads not guilty to bathroom shooting."
San Jose Mercury News 14 December 2010

Listening to a live round go off has got to be one of the more far out insta-sobering techniques. Doesn't work and you're left with a hole in the wall.

The metaphor is strong in the sober all the same as another man a month back squeezes one out of the same and not yet similar in a mood foreshadowing some other tight colon.

A 25-year-old Sheboygan man was charged Monday after allegedly firing a handgun into the floor of his upstairs apartment unit while seated on his toilet, sending a bullet into an occupied downstairs apartment.

There's no need for wasting bullets, or water, when a fake courtesy flush will do.

Diminishing returns of recycled urine

Dehydration is a killer. And dying from thirst is no fun. But when you're desperate for the sweet juice of hydration, urine can sometimes substitute its place just fine.

You really have to watch out for the taste at first. It's something sharp and not easy to stomach. In a pinch, it's what you'll have to do if you can't even find standing water that you might want to boil. Or if you can't wring out a cactus.

[...] Did you know that urine is sterile? That's right. You can drink it.

Tyler Durden, Fight Club

On the other wet hand, there's got to be a limit as to how many times you can recycle and refill your own cup with the urine that's gone through once before.

The law of diminishing returns applies here. And if you started out with clean, clear pee, it won't be much longer when the thirst strikes. Kidneys will hurt if you abuse them too much. Or that's just a little bit of flavour in your yellowing drink.

How many times do you think you can drink your own before it really starts to affect you? More than socially that is. What other people drink at the dinner table is of their own concern. Drunks are still invited to parties, it doesn't stop them.