Breaking down logic while breaking down the stomach contents

Drunken blunders on the thunderbox

Watch enough old westerns and movies set around saloons and cowboys who wear only the smartest ironed clothes, you'll see the drunk tank pop up every now and then. Basically a holding cell in the local gaol where the inebriated and off their face get to spend the night to sober up. Free accommodation when the missus is having none of that.

Fine for the most part, but ramp it up to modern times and you have to make do and getting into a cell isn't as friendly an endeavour it was back then.

A drunk New Jersey man locked himself inside a portable toilet that required bolt cutters to free him, police said.

"Man locked in portable toilet overnight."
United Press International 4 December 2010

It might be cosy, but a porta-potty isn't the best place to fall asleep. Especially when you're drunk.

At least that drunk wasn't endangering anyone but the washing machine at the laundromat the next morning.

Nicholas Maday, 26, arrived intoxicated at a friend's house on A Street in South San Francisco just before midnight Sunday, grabbed the gun from a bedroom and fired it once while in the bathroom, said Chief Deputy District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe.

Melvin, Joshua. "South San Francisco man pleads not guilty to bathroom shooting."
San Jose Mercury News 14 December 2010

Listening to a live round go off has got to be one of the more far out insta-sobering techniques. Doesn't work and you're left with a hole in the wall.

The metaphor is strong in the sober all the same as another man a month back squeezes one out of the same and not yet similar in a mood foreshadowing some other tight colon.

A 25-year-old Sheboygan man was charged Monday after allegedly firing a handgun into the floor of his upstairs apartment unit while seated on his toilet, sending a bullet into an occupied downstairs apartment.

There's no need for wasting bullets, or water, when a fake courtesy flush will do.